


Breaking New Wind

by workshy_ish



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: But not in a sexual way - Freeform, Domestic Fluff, Farting, M/M, New Relationship, more like in a way that is used as a writing tool to explain the development of a new relationship, not that I'm kink shaming people, so farting is NOT a kink in this situation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 02:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7826092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/workshy_ish/pseuds/workshy_ish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In every new relationship, there is always that period where everything is beautiful and everyone holds in their farts. But no one can hold a fart forever, no matter how perfect you try to make it. </p><p>This is the story of the humble beginnings in Jim, Spock, and Bones' relationship, and the ending of their new relationship fart holds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fart Hold Ender #1: Bones

**Author's Note:**

> So this was based on a tweet I saw by Dana Gould and also a comment I read somewhere on tumblr that read:  
> "When I'm in a new relationship my stomach hurts, not from butterflies or anything... just holding in farts."  
> And I just thought, how real is that?
> 
> As was mentioned, there's a lot of farting mentioned, so for that, I apologize.

Uh oh. 

He never meant for it to come out this way. At least to have had more than just a few casual dates with them before this, but fate had other plans. Leonard knew it was a bad idea to finish up that three-cheese pizza. 

Now his stomach's getting tight and bloated, and sooner or later his ass is gonna blow a huge one. Right in the middle of sleep-cuddling between Jim and Spock. 

This thing between them still is so new, he's still wrapping his head around it. He just can't believe they both let him in to their relationship. It feels so good and so right, like it was always meant to be. He loves them so much, and despite what his brain would sometimes say, he has a feeling that they love him too. 

So if that's the case, then they probably wouldn't mind him farting on the bed between the both of them, right? 

He could wake one of them up and run quickly to the bathroom and let loose there, but he's so comfortable right now! Jim looks so peaceful in his sleep, he can't bear to wake him up, not after the day he's had on the planet they've just left. Hell if he knew how Jim gets himself into trouble so often, it's practically commonplace on the Enterprise. And don't get him started on Spock. The hobgoblin barely took a breath negotiating for Jim's release. Even when they got the away team safely back on the ship, he insisted that Vulcans don't need sleep as much as humans. Leonard practically had to drag him into bed, not before bribing him with promises of laying off the arguing and berating. And if he kissed him a few times during the negotiating process, that was just to sweeten the deal. 

So now he's here, between a Vulcan and a hard-head, about to fart for the first time ever in this new relationship, academy dorm room farts notwithstanding. He could only hope that it's not a loud one. Or a smelly one, 'cuz those things could be deadly not only to those around him, but to him as well.

Here goes nothing.

Shifting a little to get his back to the bed to hopefully muffle any sound or smell he emits, Leonard felt himself release the muscles he was holding and slowly concentrated on pushing his stomach muscles. No sound could be heard from the fart, but a very long rumble did occur, vibrating the portion of the bed his butt was touching. 

By the end of the fart, he felt Jim stir to his right, causing Leonard to quickly shut his eyes. This way, it could be passed off as a sleep fart and no one would be the wiser. 

Opening his eyes a peak, Leonard was relieved to find Jim still asleep and turning a little ways away from him. 

Perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing after all.

Turning to his left, however, his heart stopped at seeing Spock wide awake and staring directly at Leonard.

"Um," he mumbled, parsing through his head on a good excuse but finding none.

"Go back to sleep, Leonard." He whispered, closing his eyes.

Leonard could only stare at his sleeping profile. He's thinking of something to say to make the situation less awkward than it already felt, but right now, post-flatulation, he was tired and ready to sleep.

Right now, the only thing he could think to say was, "I'm sorry, Spock." 

Without even opening his eyes, Spock answered, "You do not have to apologize for something that is a natural bodily occurrence. However, you are, as is most appropriate to say in such a case, excused." 

Feeling his status as a part of this relationship secure, no matter how many "bodily occurrences" he subjects his partners to, Leonard could only smile. Goodness knows that when the moment comes they have a similar occurrence, they'll have reached the point in their relationship where he won't even have to bat an eye and tell them "you're excused".


	2. Fart Hold Ender #2: Jim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Jim's turn to end the new relationship fart hold, but it could not come at a worse time.

It started out with booze and a movie. 

There wasn't any actual reason for celebration, it was just another night in his quarters with the two most special men in his life. There was snacks, alcohol, and a holo vid from the late 20th century Spock hadn't seen. To be honest, it's not really Jim's cup of tea, but there's a scene here that always gets Bones riled up for whatever reason. 

Seated between Bones and Spock on the couch, Jim needed himself to be the center of attention for just tonight. It hadn't particularly been a difficult day, in fact it had been pretty boring. The best thing to come out of today was that no one died and the stellar cartographers had a field day mapping a previously unknown sector of an already known part of space, which was cool, don't get him wrong. But the "sector" was, in Spock's own words, "0.4112% of the known sector". And he's seen it with his own eyes, that shit was tiny! Not that that stopped the cartographers, they were so hyped up about it, he couldn't help but be happy along with them. He wouldn't be a good captain if he didn't let his crew loose for a little while, wouldn't he? 

Also, the main reason why he'd been scouring the ship with anything to distract him was because needed to get himself out of his head for a few moments. He hasn't really told anyone this but it's his mom's birthday today, and he hasn't called her personally to greet her. He sent a comm text, though. A generic e-card with something along the lines of, "you're my mom and I'm happy you're alive again on the day of your birth! Hope you stay alive again next year so I can send you another one of these shitty things."

It's not that he's scared to talk to her. It's just, he doesn't really know how to talk to her now especially since he's a year older than his dad ever was. 

Don't get him wrong, the relationship he had with his mom was actually pretty good, improving after his wild child years. And she hadn't really approved of him going to Starfleet, which he understood after everything, but he was stubborn, and it's his life and his mistakes to make. Few more years of chilly exchanges, and they'd had enough. It was just after Khan, and like many things in this life, death always puts things to perspective. So they talked and talked until the only things they were talking about were the weather and how cold it was in Iowa this time of day. It was nice. It was like none of the bad shit ever happened. It was like she was a happy mom and he was a better son. 

Now he was faced with the possibility of losing that new normal with his mom because he was a coward and didn't take the chance to call her to tell her he loved her. 

Which was why he needed to get out of his head for a while with the two people he holds close to his heart. He needs them to ground him and clear his headspace for the day, granted they were willing. And it's not like he wasn't gonna make it good for them in the process.

So by his calculations, if he reached out his hands and placed them on Bones' knee and Spock's hand right now, he would get his response. 

Sure enough, Spock turned his hand to link his fingers with his, careful in his caress of Jim's fingers. And Jim felt Bones' hand squeeze his own, moving up his arms and towards the back of his neck. By all accounts, this was a successfully seductive venture, and he could not be more proud of himself and his boys.

The next thing he knew, Spock was kissing him deep and caressing his face, while Bones kissed and licked his way down to his crotch.

Oh yeah. Sexy times are 'bout to commence.

Jim prided himself a great kisser, if his past conquests were anything to go by, but Spock was another matter entirely. That mouth knew how to move just so that it felt like an adventure every time they kissed. He never let up on making it seem like mapping your mouth with his was the only thing he wanted to do, and wouldn't that just make a boy swoon. It was all too much for him, then Bones lifted his feet up on the coffee table on both sides of him so he's in between Jim's legs. At that moment, everything was so good, and he was feeling just the right level of hot that comes with the pleasure of getting off when he felt something else entirely. Something that didn't belong in sexy times. Something.... gassy.

Before he could snake himself free from under their hands, Spock wrapped his arms around his belly at the same time Bones mouthed at his crotch while reaching out to unbutton his pants. 

Then, the worst thing that could ever happen to James Kirk, barring death and violence, happened.

Spock squeezed his arms around Jim slightly, and... he farted.

A long and high-pitched fart, and Bones' face directly at the danger zone.

With his mouth open at Jim's half-erect junk.

In all fairness, he could blame no one but himself for eating cereal with whole milk for breakfast that morning, even when he knew what that did to his digestion.

The silence that followed was so tense, it fell heavy on all of them, seeming to hold them in place. 

Jim stared directly into Bones' face, hoping to gauge a reaction of some sort. Anger, disgust, humor... anything! But his face was unreadable, impassive.

Then Bones slowly stood to his feet, and walked right out of the room, without even looking back. Jim didn't even bother to try and convince him to stay. How could he, after what had just happened? 

The only thing he could do now is walk away from the scene of the crime, fall face first on his bed, and cover himself with the blanket in shame. He couldn't even bear look at Spock, not after all of this. He's probably thinking to himself now, "it is most beneficial for me to leave this relationship, post-haste, before the Captain decides to flatulate on my face."

He can't bear to live with himself now, not after he just destroyed the one chance he had of actually falling in love for once. It's all so new, and then he had to up and blow ass air on one of his lover's face, like an idiot who doesn't care about the people they love. 

Jim was so preoccupied with the shame and self-loathing in his thoughts that he didn't even feel the bed dip behind him until he felt a hand on his arm. 

"Jim,"

"What are you still doing here, Spock?" He asked, voice shaky. It was such a stupid thing to be upset about, and Jim could admit, it could be funny. But when this relationship started, he promised himself that he wouldn't fuck this up. Something like this to happen would've been fine two or four weeks down the road. Even then, it would've just been farting in the same room as his boyfriends, not on their faces with their mouths open. For foreplay, if they're into it, but he doubts that's what they're into based on their reactions just then. 

"This was not entirely your fault."

Jim had to laugh at that. "Not my fault? Spock, did you not see what just happened? I practically made a fool of myself and of Bones by practically blasting him in the face with a dutch oven surprise, he's probably puking his face right about now. Even if you say it's just my body doing its work, it doesn't change the fact that I still feel guilty. "

He turned to look at Spock who's looking back at him with a face that could pass as impassive, but Jim could see a hint of worry in it that he couldn't help but feel a little better that Spock chose to stay here with him.

"What do I do, Spock?" He whispered.

"We could only wait for the Doctor to come at his own time." He said, reaching a hand to brush through Jim's hair. "Trust that he does love us enough to come back to us, even when we do things that may be... unpleasant to most anyone. Especially when he knows you need it most."

Jim looked up at that last comment. Surely they couldn't? "You know?"

"About your mother? Indeed." He said, not letting up on the hand that's currently tangled in his hair.

"But... How? I-"

"A question for another day. For now, you should rest. Tomorrow we both have an early shift."

He stood and turned for the bathroom, but not before Jim took hold of his wrist.

"Spock... thank you." He hoped to say more but the words just wouldn't come. There were still some doubts in his mind about Bones, but Spock was right. It was all a matter of trust.

With a nod, Spock turned to use the bathroom, leaving Jim to contemplate how lucky he was to have Spock ground him in times like this.

Really, really lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so bad doing this to him, but I couldn't help it. This was what was in my head the whole time, even before I wrote for the first chapter. 
> 
> So yeah... This is the part where I apologize wholeheartedly for the bad humor and timing. 
> 
> Not really sure what holovid they were watching, but I have a feeling it might be Ghost with Patrick Swayze... maybe.


End file.
